Art & Activism Interview: Sarah Diemer

I am delighted to begin this new series of interviews and guest posts on art and activism. For those of you who don't know, I am doing a series of interviews and guest posts on the subject of art and activism--two topics very near and dear to my heart.

This first interview is with Sarah Diemer, who (whom?) I "met" online through a series of serendipitous connections. Actually, it was me clicking on links that led to links that led to her beautiful writing, then me clicking on "buy" and getting her book, The Dark Wife.

But before I go on and on (and on) as I am wont to do, here is Sarah in her own words!

NM: I was struck with how beautiful the language is in The Dark Wife. You have some gorgeous use of imagery and emotional layering. Can you give us a sense of what have you done to hone your craft? What would you say has been the most helpful method of improving your writing?

SD: Thank you so much, that is so kind of you to say. :) I was home-schooled my entire life, and wrote about five hours a day, every day, growing up. I read voraciously and was just so completely obsessed with the craft of writing from a very young age--I wasn't normal in that regard! *laughing* I was also co-leader of the writer's group in our city for...I think five years, six years? Working so closely with my peers and on so many different projects during that time really pushed me to be able to put out the best work I'm capable of, and to always reach for that level.

NM: Wow, that's a lot of writing! :) When did you first realize you wanted to write stories and have them published?

SD: I was six. I'd written a story about a unicorn--and illustrated it! I sat down with my little sister, who--at that time--was two, and I told her very, very seriously: I am going to be an author. *laughing* I still remember that ridiculous moment, this little girl I was, being so serious. I had that same moment again, a little more seriously, when I was twelve. I'd just written this TERRIBLE BOOK, a fictional account of WWII involving magic, and I told my mother, very seriously, "this is the first. I'm going to be a published author someday," and she knew I meant it.

NM: The Dark Wife is a retelling of the Demeter/Persephone myth. Can you tell us what led you to rewrite the story, and why you picked *this* story, in particular?

SD: As a Pagan woman, Persephone is my matron Goddess. I've been obsessed with her story since I was very small, but it upset me. She's kidnapped and raped and held against her will--hardly empowering stuff. As a lesbian woman, I began to reclaim the myth to something feminist, something that I could relate to. I truly believed that this story was open to new interpretation, that the story could and should be retold and reclaimed, so I set out to do it.

NM: I love that! I believe one key role of good fiction is the reshaping of imagination and retelling/reclaiming myths is so much a part of that. What are your thoughts about the future of publishing? Personally, I am very excited about the possibilities! :)

SD: I am, too! :) Now, more than ever before, as authors and writers, we have so many choices and so many opportunities before us. I believe that traditional publishing will never die, but I believe that the landscape of publishing before us is a new one of independent, self-publishing and traditional publishing working together. Times are changing, and it's exciting how much possibility is now presenting itself to us!

NM: I couldn't agree more. Do you have any tips or suggestions for writers who might want to go the indie publishing route, but don't know how, or are nervous to take the plunge?

SD: I always have a little difficulty answering this question, because I believe, whole-heartedly, in self-publishing, but I also don't want to sit here and yell through a megaphone that it's all tinsel and diamonds and step right up to your six figure publishing year of self-publishing bliss and unicorns. ;D Self-publishing is HARD work, and it requires a work-ethic that the puritans would have commended (oh, those puritans!), and a LOT of energy and tenacity. If you're the type of person who loves crunching numbers and designing book covers and talking about your book tirelessly and you have a very outgoing personality, you will do well with self publishing. If you're daunted by the idea of doing anything but writing/editing a book, self-publishing is not for you. So consider these things--if you believe in your story completely, think you have what it takes (and you MUST believe you can do it, what you believe is a self fulfilling prophecy in any creative endeavor!), then you do. Do it. :) Self-publishing has been the most rewarding thing I've ever done (and I lied--in my self-publishing, there ARE unicorns, but they're part of the stories. ;D).

NM: GREAT advice. Those are sage words of wisdom, dear readers. Sarah, do you think The Dark Wife could be used in a classroom setting? In what ways might the story be of use to educators?

SD: Absolutely! It's a feminist retelling of a very not-so-feminist myth, so educators could use it in feminist or mythological studies, the changing roles of women in history, or even in a creative sense, reclaiming myths and changing them to create something you can relate to. In a minority setting, it could be read and discussed, as to why it's important that queer stories are told, and why it's important that straight people read them (empathy toward minorities, etc.).

NM: You deal with some pretty heavy issues in The Dark Wife, and you might be aware that the topic of sex and violence in books for young adults is a hot button topic with passionate opinions on both sides. What are your thoughts on this?

SD: We were all young adults once, and we all know what we were thinking about/feeling. As as a lesbian teenager, I was one big roiling ball of hormones and angst and walking-drama-and-tragedy-my-straight-best-friend-will-never-know-I-love-her. Teenagers, gay and straight, use expletives, have sex, explore themselves with adventure and prose and story-telling and all of these wonderful things, and the stories that we put out that reflect them need to reflect the rich variedness of their experiences. Sex, swearing, etc. is part of the young adult experience, and they see violence in their everyday lives. If a story is stripped of the inherent truthiness of life, teenagers are going to notice, and it won't touch them. I want my stories to touch them, to reach them on the level that they're at, not try to sugar-coat their story.

NM: Speaking of speaking to teenagers, what has been the response to TDW from young readers?

SD: It's been...wow. Outstanding. Staggering. Humbling. I have been told that this little story made a girl have hope about life again. I've been told that this one young girl now had the courage to come out--something she never thought she could do--because of THE DARK WIFE. One girl read it and said she finally believed she could find a girlfriend, could now find the courage to do it. It's given hope and courage and the belief in something better to young girls, and that of all of the responses and ways that it's changed MY life, is the most rewarding, the most amazing. That my book touched people on such a deep, changing level is the most wonderful thing I could ever know. I'm so grateful that these girls told me how much it meant to them, so grateful that they were so touched, and so deeply humbled that it helped them in any way.

NM: Where can readers purchase your books?

SD: You can get them on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Smashwords in both print and eReader versions. You can find all of the links on my site, http://www.oceanid.org

NM: If you had one message you could go back in time to give to your 17-year-old self, what would it be?

SD: You're gay, and you're a writer, and you're trying to do this crazy thing: write gay girl stories that everyone will love. People are telling you that's impossible, people are telling you that because you're gay, you're less than. None of this is true. Some day, you'll find out that your stories about gay girls will change lives, and you need to keep writing them, and you need to keep believing in yourself. You're gay and you're awesome and you need to remember that when everyone else tells you differently. (And that goes for every seventeen year old [or any age] gay boy or girl reading this. <3)

Still On Representation

From BBC.co.uk

This past weekend, I saw Stick Fly, a play produced by Alicia Keys, featuring Dule Hill, Mekhi Phifer, and Tracie Thoms. I can't say that I loved it, or that I even thought it was *good*, but I am absolutely glad I got to see it. Out of the literally hundreds of shows on Broadway, there are about *three* featuring (or written by) PoC.

As I mentioned, I wasn't crazy about some of the things in this play (for a show about family, I would have included mothers on the stage, and I would not have silenced a woman for speaking truth, but that's just me), but I truly appreciated this writer's humor, characterization, psychological depth, and frank dialogue on race dynamics, class, and colorism among the African-American elite. It's her perspective, her contribution, and I can respect that.

As I thought about it later, I wondered again, what it would be like to see more representations of PoC, in all our myriad expressions, on center screen, on the main stage, in the spotlight. How differently would we navigate life? What new possibilities would we conjure up? What new opportunities would we see that now elude us?

Even after multiple shining reviews in other cities, Stick Fly took almost six years to make it to Broadway for lack of funding and support. I thought about how many wonderful, brilliant stories there are out there that will never see the light of day because there is no financial backing for them. This story was not how I would have written a story about family, but it was a good story that deserved to be on stage -- on Broadway -- nonetheless. How many others are out there just like it, waiting for a producer's approval, an editor's nod, a bookstore's/reviewer's stamp? And how many will never get that nod because the person reading/viewing the story doesn't relate to it, or simply can't see themselves in it?

And then, this morning, I read this post on Zoetrope, about the "dead girl" look on some YA book covers, and I was reminded, once again, that the struggle for representation continues on all fronts.

But I was heartened by this BBC article about Indian youth wanting to see their own faces on stage. Whereas before, the preference was for white faces on the stage, young Indians now want to see their own images and values reflected back to them, in all their unique beauty and complexity. And the result is a uniquely Indian sound, exploding onto the Indie music scene.

History has shown us that independent thinkers/musicians/artists have paved the way for sweeping social and cultural change. I think we're in the midst of some of that same sweeping change here, too, with the balance of power shifting. It's exciting...like we're on the cusp of something very significant, very important. It's slow going, yes, but I'm in it for the long haul.

Picking From Many Battles

Last week, my ten-year-old came home from camp upset. She said that during a team game, one of her teammates didn't want to hold her hand because "she's a black girl". This was not in the sixties, it was not in the "pre-racial, pre-Obama era" - this was last week.

Normally, I would go to the parents of the child in this situation, just to inform them of what's been said, and hope that they deal with the issue in the best possible way. But I don't know these parents, so I went to management. My daughter will be in this camp for the rest of the summer and deserves to be in a safe, comfortable, non-toxic environment. Not to mention the arm and leg we're paying to have her there.

But this post is about picking your battles - and there are so many to choose from. This morning I learned that, at this same camp (a gymnastics camp), girls are required to wear leotards under their T-shirts and shorts while boys have no clothing restrictions at all. I asked my girls what they've been told the reasoning is behind this rule and they said it's because "when girls do flips and cartwheels, their shirts go up and it's distracting."

None of the girls at this camp are over the age of thirteen. If there are counselors who are "distracted" by a little girl's bellybutton or midriff, those counselors should not be at a camp for children. This is all about accountability. Grown men are responsible for their own actions. What a novel concept!

I grew up in a culture that hammered home the need for "modesty" in girls' and women's dress. God forbid a man should happen to see a naked elbow or ankle and be sent into a mad frenzy of lust at the sight of it. It would be the girl's or woman's fault of course, because, hey, she was told to dress properly. A man shouldn't be expected to take responsibility for how a woman dresses, or his response to her naked parts! And here I am again, in another culture that is hammering home the same message to my girls. As many times as I've encountered this line of logic, it still never ceases to amaze me.

So I'm struggling now with whether I complain again and become That person - the one who complains of everything and has a problem - the one you can discredit and shrug off because, well, next week she'll be complaining of something else - or whether I say nothing and let this one go.

I know, quite clearly, that the issue is not just with this particular camp. The problem is that most of the world is immersed in unchallenged, unexamined racism, sexism, homophobia, and all kinds of other abuses of power - with no accountability at all on the part of the person in the position of power. When you're someone who is not only aware, but actively challenging such power abuses, you become the complainer. Or the trouble-maker. Or the conspiracy theorist. Or the [insert other silencing descriptor here].

I like being happy. I like having joy in my life. I like to laugh and joke around. I HATE having to confront things like racist bullshit and misogyny. Truly - nothing bums me out more than having to go at it with someone wielding unearned power and privilege. A someone who is almost always ignorant of said power and privilege. All I want to do in the morning is drop my kids off at a safe place where they can learn and have fun. And I want to go home, have a nice breakfast and some tea, and get on with my day. Seriously. That's ALL I want to do. I hate complaining. But when you have kids, speaking up or staying silent takes on a whole new significance. Because now I am modeling how to deal (or not deal) with abuses of power. My children are watching what I do and learning from it. Either way, I will have to explain to them why I spoke up, or why I did not, in the face of clear inequality or injustice.

I'm not going to change the current system single-handedly and overnight. But I can at least challenge and question things *in the home*. If I don't, my children think the way things are is they way they ought to be. If the people they trust to protect them and guide them are not challenging "small", everyday infractions like the ones above, then everything is as it should be and the children are simply over-sensitive - they should swallow their pain/anger/fear and move on as if no violation has taken place. In other words, the entire emotional, psychological, and spiritual impact on their psyche becomes their responsibility. And the violator gets away with his/her actions, words, and behaviour, without ever examining it or being accountable in any way.

I haven't yet decided how I will proceed, but at the very least, the girls know there is something to be questioned - something not quite right about the scenario - and that their mother is mulling over how to deal with it.