Art & Activism Interview: Sarah Diemer

I am delighted to begin this new series of interviews and guest posts on art and activism. For those of you who don't know, I am doing a series of interviews and guest posts on the subject of art and activism--two topics very near and dear to my heart.

This first interview is with Sarah Diemer, who (whom?) I "met" online through a series of serendipitous connections. Actually, it was me clicking on links that led to links that led to her beautiful writing, then me clicking on "buy" and getting her book, The Dark Wife.

But before I go on and on (and on) as I am wont to do, here is Sarah in her own words!

NM: I was struck with how beautiful the language is in The Dark Wife. You have some gorgeous use of imagery and emotional layering. Can you give us a sense of what have you done to hone your craft? What would you say has been the most helpful method of improving your writing?

SD: Thank you so much, that is so kind of you to say. :) I was home-schooled my entire life, and wrote about five hours a day, every day, growing up. I read voraciously and was just so completely obsessed with the craft of writing from a very young age--I wasn't normal in that regard! *laughing* I was also co-leader of the writer's group in our city for...I think five years, six years? Working so closely with my peers and on so many different projects during that time really pushed me to be able to put out the best work I'm capable of, and to always reach for that level.

NM: Wow, that's a lot of writing! :) When did you first realize you wanted to write stories and have them published?

SD: I was six. I'd written a story about a unicorn--and illustrated it! I sat down with my little sister, who--at that time--was two, and I told her very, very seriously: I am going to be an author. *laughing* I still remember that ridiculous moment, this little girl I was, being so serious. I had that same moment again, a little more seriously, when I was twelve. I'd just written this TERRIBLE BOOK, a fictional account of WWII involving magic, and I told my mother, very seriously, "this is the first. I'm going to be a published author someday," and she knew I meant it.

NM: The Dark Wife is a retelling of the Demeter/Persephone myth. Can you tell us what led you to rewrite the story, and why you picked *this* story, in particular?

SD: As a Pagan woman, Persephone is my matron Goddess. I've been obsessed with her story since I was very small, but it upset me. She's kidnapped and raped and held against her will--hardly empowering stuff. As a lesbian woman, I began to reclaim the myth to something feminist, something that I could relate to. I truly believed that this story was open to new interpretation, that the story could and should be retold and reclaimed, so I set out to do it.

NM: I love that! I believe one key role of good fiction is the reshaping of imagination and retelling/reclaiming myths is so much a part of that. What are your thoughts about the future of publishing? Personally, I am very excited about the possibilities! :)

SD: I am, too! :) Now, more than ever before, as authors and writers, we have so many choices and so many opportunities before us. I believe that traditional publishing will never die, but I believe that the landscape of publishing before us is a new one of independent, self-publishing and traditional publishing working together. Times are changing, and it's exciting how much possibility is now presenting itself to us!

NM: I couldn't agree more. Do you have any tips or suggestions for writers who might want to go the indie publishing route, but don't know how, or are nervous to take the plunge?

SD: I always have a little difficulty answering this question, because I believe, whole-heartedly, in self-publishing, but I also don't want to sit here and yell through a megaphone that it's all tinsel and diamonds and step right up to your six figure publishing year of self-publishing bliss and unicorns. ;D Self-publishing is HARD work, and it requires a work-ethic that the puritans would have commended (oh, those puritans!), and a LOT of energy and tenacity. If you're the type of person who loves crunching numbers and designing book covers and talking about your book tirelessly and you have a very outgoing personality, you will do well with self publishing. If you're daunted by the idea of doing anything but writing/editing a book, self-publishing is not for you. So consider these things--if you believe in your story completely, think you have what it takes (and you MUST believe you can do it, what you believe is a self fulfilling prophecy in any creative endeavor!), then you do. Do it. :) Self-publishing has been the most rewarding thing I've ever done (and I lied--in my self-publishing, there ARE unicorns, but they're part of the stories. ;D).

NM: GREAT advice. Those are sage words of wisdom, dear readers. Sarah, do you think The Dark Wife could be used in a classroom setting? In what ways might the story be of use to educators?

SD: Absolutely! It's a feminist retelling of a very not-so-feminist myth, so educators could use it in feminist or mythological studies, the changing roles of women in history, or even in a creative sense, reclaiming myths and changing them to create something you can relate to. In a minority setting, it could be read and discussed, as to why it's important that queer stories are told, and why it's important that straight people read them (empathy toward minorities, etc.).

NM: You deal with some pretty heavy issues in The Dark Wife, and you might be aware that the topic of sex and violence in books for young adults is a hot button topic with passionate opinions on both sides. What are your thoughts on this?

SD: We were all young adults once, and we all know what we were thinking about/feeling. As as a lesbian teenager, I was one big roiling ball of hormones and angst and walking-drama-and-tragedy-my-straight-best-friend-will-never-know-I-love-her. Teenagers, gay and straight, use expletives, have sex, explore themselves with adventure and prose and story-telling and all of these wonderful things, and the stories that we put out that reflect them need to reflect the rich variedness of their experiences. Sex, swearing, etc. is part of the young adult experience, and they see violence in their everyday lives. If a story is stripped of the inherent truthiness of life, teenagers are going to notice, and it won't touch them. I want my stories to touch them, to reach them on the level that they're at, not try to sugar-coat their story.

NM: Speaking of speaking to teenagers, what has been the response to TDW from young readers?

SD: It's been...wow. Outstanding. Staggering. Humbling. I have been told that this little story made a girl have hope about life again. I've been told that this one young girl now had the courage to come out--something she never thought she could do--because of THE DARK WIFE. One girl read it and said she finally believed she could find a girlfriend, could now find the courage to do it. It's given hope and courage and the belief in something better to young girls, and that of all of the responses and ways that it's changed MY life, is the most rewarding, the most amazing. That my book touched people on such a deep, changing level is the most wonderful thing I could ever know. I'm so grateful that these girls told me how much it meant to them, so grateful that they were so touched, and so deeply humbled that it helped them in any way.

NM: Where can readers purchase your books?

SD: You can get them on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Smashwords in both print and eReader versions. You can find all of the links on my site, http://www.oceanid.org

NM: If you had one message you could go back in time to give to your 17-year-old self, what would it be?

SD: You're gay, and you're a writer, and you're trying to do this crazy thing: write gay girl stories that everyone will love. People are telling you that's impossible, people are telling you that because you're gay, you're less than. None of this is true. Some day, you'll find out that your stories about gay girls will change lives, and you need to keep writing them, and you need to keep believing in yourself. You're gay and you're awesome and you need to remember that when everyone else tells you differently. (And that goes for every seventeen year old [or any age] gay boy or girl reading this. <3)

Cover Reveal!

So this is the cover for my new book, coming out in March, 2012. I am more excited and nervous about this one than I have been with any of my previous books, adult romances included.

I've put so much of everything that's important to me into this book and it was the hardest one I've ever written. For one, I wrote it during some of the toughest times Life has thrown my way, so far, as an adult. Finding the time, motivation, focus, and energy to write was often a mighty challenge in itself. And I've lost count of how many times I revised this novel from the ground up. I revised with an agent and two editors -- I'm talking tear-down-the-walls, clear-the-nether-regions, blast-through-rock revisions.

This book is my Little Engine That Could. It's the mountain I climbed because I loved it and because I wanted to see the view from its summit. I still haven't seen the view. I'm waiting for you to read it to complete the picture :).

ARCs should be available late December/early January. If you'd like a review copy, please email me and I'll put you on the list.

*And now, the cover...

*Designed by the fabulous Eithne Ni AnLuain

Reflection

Today's one of those reflection days for me. I just finished up with school-related activities for my kids and I'm now in that shell-shocked, bewildered "It's over?" place.

It's bittersweet. Even with all my complaining about how busy I am throughout the school year with kid-related events, writing, working, etc., I wouldn't have it any other way.

At the end of it all, when I'm doing the ultimate reflecting upon my life, I'm going to care less about how many books I've written and how many accolades I've garnered, than I am about how happy my loved ones are. And how they'll fare when I'm gone.

It's all about interacting with one another and the impressions we leave upon one another. Because it's through those impressions that we help shape ourselves and those we interact with. My writing has always been about that - about me shaping you with my words and you, in turn, shaping me with your response. And then again. That's how I've always thought I could change the world - one little interaction at a time.

That's probably why I'm a great candidate for independent publishing. I want that response so I can keep the creative flow unimpeded. I want an ongoing interaction where we elevate one another on the journey. If I keep getting stopped at the pass, neither of us will ever know what a (life-altering? Beautiful? Explosive?) exchange we could have had. Even the biggest wave has to start out as a little ripple, right?

This past year, I have begun to define "success" in my own terms. I've learned that it is pointless for me to seek the "success" others seek, or have achieved. And what that word means to me is very different than what it may mean to others. It's hard to keep your footing solidly on the path you create for yourself, but there is nothing more rewarding - that, I can guarantee.

Daughters of Kali

I'm very excited to share that I have a short story in this month's issue of Expanded Horizons magazine. The piece is called Daughters of Kali and it is my first published piece of speculative fiction for adults (er - that's written under my own name). I love the graphic they included with the piece, too.

Here's an excerpt:

She paid them no mind.‭ ‬She was used to gossip.‭ ‬Her mother was an unconventional woman who caused the village women to whisper like leaves in a storm.‭ ‬Her mother was a woman who’d never bowed to touch her father’s feet as custom dictated.‭ ‬She wore what she wished.‭ ‬She had two girls and refused to‭ “‬try for a boy.‭” ‬She adored and educated her daughters,‭ ‬and she did so with aplomb,‭ ‬often showing her affection in public.

The only reason Mother was never sent packing was that Father stood directly in the line of fire whenever anyone had anything to say.‭ “‬My wife does all she does with my blessing.‭ ‬If anyone takes issue,‭ ‬let him come to me.‭”

And come to him,‭ ‬they did.‭ ‬All the husbands and fathers and uncles regularly harassed him for setting a poor example and allowing his wife and girls far too much freedom.‭ “‬You’ll have all the women of the village wanting the same treatment,‭ ‬Harbir‭! ‬What will become of our traditions and way of life‭?”

But her father never budged.‭ ‬And while the other women in the village set their feet on prescribed paths,‭ ‬they did so with a hint of mischief.‭ ‬Just a small sidestep every now and then,‭ ‬much to Mother’s secret delight.

Read the rest here and let me know what you think!

Faith in Revisions

There is a great article in Poets & Writers, called Revision as Renovation, by Benjamin Percy. It's definitely worth a read. He draws parallels between revising and home renovation. And, while I knew the article was about the importance of revision, I couldn't help but focus on these paragraphs:

"I had sold my novel, The Wilding. My edi-
tor at Graywolf Press, Fiona McCrae, told me how excited
she was about the manuscript, but wondered if I might be
amenable to some changes. Of course, I said. What did
she have in mind? 'How about let’s start with the point of
view?' she said. 'Might we shift it from first to third? And
in doing so, with the freedom afforded to the characters,
perhaps we could add five interlocking plotlines all com-
ing to a head at once?' The book had good bones, in other
words, but it needed some renovation."

and then this:

"It took me a year to rewrite The Wilding, to change from first to third person, to free up those characters and braid together their stories. And when I handed it in to Fiona in March 2009, she said . . . 'Fantastic. Exactly what we wanted. Now, would you mind cutting several of these sub-plots? And maybe we could add another in a female perspective? And while we're at it, how about let's rethink the ending?' And, and, and."

All I could think was, "Wow! An editor acquired a book that needed ALL that revision? She waited a year for revisions, and then asked for more?" I was left shaking my head in wonder. As a writer, all I could think was how amazing, validating, affirming it is to know someone has that kind of faith in your work; that much love for just the idea of what you're writing! That's the kind of excitement and enthusiasm you want for your writing!

I'm grateful to articles like these because most authors don't know what it's like for other authors. We are an isolated bunch, but reading others' experiences gives us great insight into our own, and to the industry in which we are investing so much time, energy and heart, with no promise of any kind of return, save for our love of the craft.

Summer Radio Silence

I can't believe how quickly this summer has blown by. August is around the corner and I feel like I've been doing a zillion-and-one things, but it seems I have nothing to show for it.

I've been keeping an eye on what's going on with Arizona's immigration bill, also known as SB1070; I'm waiting for romance number two to release (next month), and revising romance number three; I've written a few short pieces, both fiction and non-fiction, which should be out and about soon; been keeping up with Hell's Kitchen and SYTYCD (both Fox shows, which I am loathe to acknowledge. Sadly, though not surprisingly, the latter has been on a downward spiral); planning school visits and conferences I'm scheduled for in the fall; and I've been run ragged by the kids.

In between all that, I'm trying to enjoy the summer. The pool is a huge blessing (uh, that we *pay* for) and a refreshing jumpstart on those soupy humid days in the ninety-degree-and-above regions. So I've been trying to get as much solitude by the water as possible before Labour Day sneaks up, and re-reading as much Marion Zimmer Bradley novels as I can.

Also saw an interesting film, featuring time travel, called Happy Accidents. I streamed it through Netflix and was pleasantly surprised. I love Marisa Tomei (since My Cousin Vinny, which I also loved) and the film's premise piqued my interest. It lagged at points, but I was ultimately glad I watched it. I'll probably go back and watch it again, just to see what I might have missed the first time around. If you get a chance to see it, let me know what you think.

Time Keeps On Slipping...

This week is already shot. How does all that time just slip away like that? I'm working on my third book in the romance series - and by "working on," I actually mean "not writing". I did a school visit this morning (*totally* fun - one of the questions I got was, "Can you write a story for my sister?" So. Cute.), will be working on edits this week and next, and there are two conferences next week. I'm only going to one, but one of my closest friends EVER is coming in from San Francisco for BEA, so I will, obviously, need to gallivant around town with her before heading off to Wiscon at the end of the month.

And then we're into June! SHINE comes out in paperback June 15th (yay!), and I'll be in Brooklyn for a reading/discussion to celebrate. Don't know if this will be a public event, or geared for a private audience, but will post more details as soon as I have them.

How are we already half way through the year???

Insides, Outsides; Words, Pictures

The theme this weekend, and all of last week, even, seemed to be "images". The workshop at GWN was on graphic novels (another fantastic workshop), and then I went down to the Lower East Side with the fam to see InsideOut; OutsideIn, an installation by image artist, Shantell Martin. She's at the Colette Blanchard Gallery on Clinton Street for the rest of this week, so if you get a chance to go, do - it's definitely worth it. Shantell is warm and engaging, and her work is a fascinating reflection of an internal journey on an external landscape. She also draws on just about everything - including people, so be prepared to walk out as a piece of living art ;).

Having been a media studies/film major, I've always been intrigued by the merging of words and images. I was never an avid reader of comics, but I absolutely adored Marjane Satrapi's Persepolis and Alison Bechdel's Dykes To Watch Out For. I couldn't imagine those novels written in any other format. If I were a more skilled illustrator, graphic novels are something I would most definitely explore writing. As it is, words are enough for me to grapple with, ha. O_o

The Power of Images and Words

I woke up this morning to pouring rain and a family running around in stealth mode as they prepared for Mom's Day. H took the kids out and I sat down at the computer for some leisurely surfing with my tea and breakfast.

First video I saw was MIA's Born Free. Holy Wow. I wish I had been more prepared. My gut was churning, and I was trembling for at least an hour afterward. Take that as a warning if you plan to watch the video. It is intense. Violent. MIA flips stereotypes upside down by showing US forces rounding up redheaded young males and taking them into the desert to pick them off one by one in a sort of "redhead genocide". Disturbing, to say the least. And kind of eye-opening, too. I'm sure it will/does challenge many viewers' assumptions and associations with certain images and representations.

I wandered around afterward, searching for ways to get back to that leisurely space I was in pre-MIA-video, and it struck me how privileged I am - to know that my kids are safe. That I can sit at my computer and leisurely surf while eating breakfast. That I know I'll wake up tomorrow and celebrate with my family. What a jolt to be reminded that these are considered privileges and not rights. Basic human rights.

I didn't know what to do with myself because I was a bit of a mess with those images still fresh in my mind. So I started tidying up, a trick I learned from my mother who was always a bit of a mess :). And my eyes lit upon a video the hubs brought home - Tell Them Anything You Want: A Portrait of Maurice Sendak, by Lance Bangs and Spike Jonze. I popped it in. The images of trees, the silence of Connecticut in the winter, the colour of leaves in the fall, the love between siblings and friends and family, and the connection with animals were soothing. Reminded me of the fragile, but persistent struggle for Life to prevail, even in the harshest of circumstances.

I thought, too, of what a gift words and images can be - what a soothing balm they often have been. Bringing me off ledges and surrounding me in warmth and safety. Sometimes tearing me down and other times building me up.

There were many poignant moments in the video, but here are a few quotes from Sendak's interview in Tell Them Anything You Want:

About Where the Wild Things Are, "I knew, I knew, I knew it would cause a lot of trouble. And my editor knew it and all she did was encourage me. 'Go for it, go for it. Don't worry about anything or anybody'."

About his editor, "Her name was Ursula Nordstrom. She made me who I am. She gave me a book every year. She kept me working. I mean, can you imagine mentorship from a publishing house? She intended that I should be an important illustrator. She knew I could be. I had bad habits, I never went to art school, I drew in a clumsy fashion, but she could see beneath that."

"It's not true that I write books for children because I have this adoration of childhood. No. It's a peculiarity of mine that I do this. What I do is peculiar, but it's all I can do."

"Having children takes talent, like any creative thing you want to do - if you want to be good at it."

"When I was gay, the world was extremely unwelcoming and it was very different. And it was something you hid...I missed out on a lot of fun... When I was young, I was worried that that knowledge, were it to come out, would ruin my career."

"I did some good books, which mostly is an isolationist's form of life--doing books, doing pictures. And it is the only true happiness I've ever, ever enjoyed in my life. It's sublime. To just go into another room and make pictures. It's magic time, where all your weaknesses of character and all blemishes of personality and whatever else torments you fades away...it just doesn't matter. You're doing the one thing you want to do and you do it well and you know you do it well and you're happy."

"I think what I offered was different, but not because I drew better than anybody, or wrote better than anybody, but because I was more honest than anybody."

"And in the discussion of children and the lives of children and fantasies of children and the language of children, I said anything I wanted. Because I don't believe...that there's a demarcation - 'well, you mustn't tell them that and you mustn't tell them that.' You can tell them anything you want. Just tell them if it's true. If it's true, you tell them."

Being Effective

A few weeks back, Girls Write Now hosted a fantastic guest at one of their workshops - Katie Orenstein of the Op-ed Project. She's a wonderful speaker - witty, clear, engaging. She spoke about some of the reasons women might not contribute to the Op-ed sections of newspapers like the NY Times, the Washington Post and other large scale distribution newspapers. Here's a summary of the problem according to the site:

"The op-ed pages of our nation’s newspapers are overwhelmingly dominated—80% or more—by men. Because the op-ed pages feed all other media, the under-representation of women here perpetuates and exaggerates the under-representation of women in larger ways. For example, men are:

• 84% of guests on influential Sunday morning political talk shows on TV
• 85% of Hollywood producers
• 85% of nonfiction books on The New York Times best-selling
• 85-90% of radio producers
• 83% of congress

In short, public debate all but excludes half the population."

Interesting stats, no? Says quite a lot about how far we still have to go in the push for equal representation--on oh-so-many fronts.

One of the (other) interesting things Katie said during her presentation that really stuck with me, and that I think is applicable to blogging and many other things as well, is that she learned a hard lesson after one particular piece she wrote about Sex and the City. She realized, after the onslaught of letters and emails she received (from unhappy readers) in response to the piece, that she had quite possibly alienated four out of five of her readers. And that's when it struck her that perhaps it was more important to be effective rather than right.

True in so many areas of life - from blogging to receiving feedback on one's writing, to dealing with friends and partners, to communicating with children and teens... One of the things I try to keep in mind when I'm in the heat of the moment - when I'm angry and passionate about something (whether it's with my spouse, kids, friends, on the blog, whatever) or when my buttons have been pushed and it's hard to see beyond my own indignation - is that my goal is not to vent, it is to be effective. To grow, to push for change, create awareness and help build some sort of connection.

Thanks, Katie, for reminding me of the difference, and for spotlighting an important area more women can become active - an area that can help shape the world around us to reflect the sets of values and priorities of an entire population, not just a select few.

Consuming Hunger

I was folding laundry the other night and flipped through the handful of channels we get (we have no cable - *on purpose*). I settled on a talk show before realizing it was the Wendy Williams Show :P. But I stayed there because Suze Ormon was about to come on and I believe in synchronicity. How strange that I'd been thinking about finances lately and then, voila! - Suze. I used to watch her years ago (clearly I learned nothing from her words of wisdom) and loved how passionate she was about helping women with their finances. And this time, she was the same, feisty, passionate Suze. Only on this show, she came out. Loud and proud and vocal. And she even stated her thoughts on gay marriage and allowed the show to display a picture of her and her partner. LOVE it.

And then, I thought about my own spending habits. I'm not a big spender. I cut my own hair and I've stopped colouring it now for about three/four years. But, it's spring and April has thrown us a few surprises - flip-flop days. I-wish-the-pool-was-open-NOW days. And the mega shopping complex down the hill has been swarmed by folks looking for summery clothes and shoes, getting lattes from Starbux, and eating lunch at Olive Garden or Applebee's, or whatever that place is that beckons to families on budgets, promising five dollar meals. And I love me some iced lattes on hot days and pretty toe rings and flip-flops and cute dresses. But I rein in a lot of those wants. Most of my peeps don't.

The mega shopping complex down the hill. It plopped down a few years ago, *directly* across from the projects. I've read study after study where they show the buying stats of people of colour and women. We are the most avid consumers on the market. Of anything. Food, clothes, gym memberships, cosmetics, books, music, cars...you name it. We buy sh@t. We buy LOTS of sh@t. Most of the time, we buy stuff that we use for a few minutes, then never look at again.

The entire fashion industry knows how much buying power women have. So does the diet and exercise industry. And the cosmetics industry. And the cosmetic surgery industry. These are giant, multi-gazillion-dollar industries that bank on the low self-esteem and high buying power of women.

The fact that a Super Target set up shop directly across the street from the projects indicates that the folks who run these things know where their dollars are coming from, too.

And then it hit me again, every time I think about these things: people consume when they are hungry.

I've put a new mandate up on my cork board. I will not consume anything that is devoid of nutritional value - for my body, emotions, and soul. And I will make sure that everything I create, everything I write, has nutritional value, too. I've always done that intuitively, but now I will do it consciously. Even if I'm writing mostly fluff, it will be nutritional fluff .

Writers Say...

Great notes from writers (taken from these top ten lists):

"Don't sit down in the middle of the woods. If you're lost in the plot or blocked, retrace your steps to where you went wrong. Then take the other road. And/or change the person. Change the tense. Change the opening page." -- Margaret Atwood

"Never worry about the commercial possibilities of a project. That stuff is for agents and editors to fret over – or not. Conversation with my American publisher. Me: "I'm writing a book so boring, of such limited commercial appeal, that if you publish it, it will probably cost you your job." Publisher: "That's exactly what makes me want to stay in my job." -- Geoff Dyer

"Have regrets. They are fuel. On the page they flare into desire." -- Geoff Dyer

"Do it every day. Make a habit of putting your observations into words and gradually this will become instinct. This is the most important rule of all and, naturally, I don't follow it." -- Geoff Dyer

"Never ride a bike with the brakes on. If something is proving too difficult, give up and do something else. Try to live without resort to per­severance. But writing is all about ­perseverance. You've got to stick at it. In my 30s I used to go to the gym even though I hated it. The purpose of ­going to the gym was to postpone the day when I would stop going. That's what writing is to me: a way of ­postponing the day when I won't do it any more, the day when I will sink into a depression so profound it will be indistinguishable from perfect bliss." -- Geoff Dyer

"The first 12 years are the worst." -- Anne Enright

"Write whatever way you like. Fiction is made of words on a page; reality is made of something else. It doesn't matter how "real" your story is, or how "made up": what matters is its necessity." -- Anne Enright

"Description is hard. Remember that all description is an opinion about the world. Find a place to stand." -- Anne Enright

"Imagine that you are dying. If you had a terminal disease would you ­finish this book? Why not? The thing that annoys this 10-weeks-to-live self is the thing that is wrong with the book. So change it. Stop arguing with yourself. Change it. See? Easy. And no one had to die." -- Anne Enright

"Try to think of others' good luck as encouragement to yourself." -- Richard Ford

"Fiction that isn't an author's personal adventure into the frightening or the unknown isn't worth writing for anything but money." -- Jonathan Franzen

"It's doubtful that anyone with an internet connection at his workplace is writing good fiction." -- Jonathan Franzen

"The main rule of writing is that if you do it with enough assurance and confidence, you're allowed to do whatever you like. (That may be a rule for life as well as for writing. But it's definitely true for writing.) So write your story as it needs to be written. Write it ­honestly, and tell it as best you can. I'm not sure that there are any other rules. Not ones that matter." -- Neil Gaiman

All the top ten lists are worth a read. Some are just laugh-out-loud hilarious :D. Check 'em out.

Hood Passes & Home Invasions

I recently read this post by Adam Mansbach over at one of my usual internet haunts, and it got me thinking about writing. Particularly the idea of a "hood pass". That term (in this case) applies specifically to the black community and, while there are issues with the word "hood" being used to describe the totality of blackness, the larger idea of certain white folks (or any non-black folks, really) getting a sort of cultural "pass" is very interesting. Whether we're referring to products which either mimic the style and aesthetic of PoC (as with music, or clothes), or products which represent a specific community of colour--while the creator of said product is not of that community themselves (as in literature, let's say), the hood pass is, indeed, a concept worth exploring.

Zetta Elliott just had a guest post up on Justine Larbalestier's blog about race and book reviews. One line, in particular, stood out for me: "Mostly I just wish white authors would leave people of color alone."

Elliott was referring specifically to writing for children, but it's a sentiment that I think is applicable across the board. I'm sure that in 1492, folks in the Americas were thinking something along those lines. I'm also pretty sure that in 1757, when the British invaded India, most Indians were like, "Wow, it would've been awesome if all these white people had just left us alone." Probably in Australia in 1788 folks were thinking similar thoughts, too. Just a hunch.

When reading up on India's history for my work-in-progress, I stumbled upon a site that had this:

"Consider the fact that Indian written history stretches back almost 4,000 years, to the civilization centers of the Indus Valley Culture at Harappa and Mohenjo-Daro. In addition, by 1850 A.D., India had a population of some 200 million or more.
Britain, on the other hand, had no indigenous written language until the 9th century A.D. (almost 3,000 years after India). Its population was about 16.6 million in 1850.
How, then, did Britain manage to control India from 1757 to 1947?
The keys seem to have been superior weaponry, a strong profit motive and Eurocentric confidence." [Emphasis mine]

See, to me it all comes down to real estate and entitlement. It's about barging into someone else's home and claiming it as yours. And then responding in dismay, shock, and outrage when you're asked to leave. THAT is entitlement. Back that entitlement up with power (whether it's military might, or systemic and institutionalized power that was gained through military might), and you have a potent mix where PoC, women, the working class--or whomever is having their community/culture/home invaded--lack the power or voice to fend off the onslaught. Now add to all this, a cultivated ignorance among the powerful that they deserve all the offerings of the home they've barged into. And that in barging into this home, they are serving the best interests of those being invaded. Well...you can see how that really doesn't leave us much room for honest communication. Not without a whole lot of HARD work and painful self-reflection, that's for sure.

So back to the hood pass. John Mayer is a white male creating music that "resembles" a certain musical tradition which can trace its roots back to, primarily, black people. He got a "pass" because his interest in something that is uniquely theirs was appreciated, it was familiar...it was an echo of something recognized. However, beyond a profit motive, he has displayed absolutely ZERO interest in that community. Far from it, clearly, since he has issued racial slurs and hurled denigrating, dehumanizing insults at members of the very community that has supported him. Clearly, he has no awareness whatsoever, of one of the reasons he may have managed to reach the heights he has. Upon whose backs his luxuries have been acquired.

When we apply this to literature, we are talking about white authors who write stories of PoC--while PoC are not being published with their OWN stories. Again, there is a vast history behind this. On this site is another interesting fact: "Besides losing hundreds of thousands of lives, the Aborigines also lost much of their culture. They could no longer tell their stories and traditions, and in some cases, there was no one to hear them. History was lost."

This quote is specific to the Aborigines of Australia, but can be applied to most PoC all over the world. Wherever colonization has taken place*, along with it has come a steady and consistent loss of history and story told from our perspective. We, as people of colour have been robbed, often through violent and brutal means, of the right to tell our own stories. We have had to stand aside for centuries while our streets have been renamed, our histories distorted, and our own stories delivered to us through European (or Euro-centric) eyes. We have been taught ABOUT ourselves from people who do not share our history. We have been taught in schools through white-authored textbooks to see the world, its peoples, and its history through a white conqueror's perspective.

No one can stop anyone from writing what they want. But what we can request is that the writing which represents us be done with respect, with humility, and with a complete awareness of one's privilege. Do your research--not just of the people you're writing about, but of what it means for you, as someone who has more privilege, to tell their story. And always, always, be mindful of the fact that there is an entire history behind white folks telling the stories of people of colour.

And if you ARE given a "hood pass", imagine that you have been invited into someone's home and welcomed. You are standing on their sacred ground. What will you do with that honour?

I'll close with a few quotes that I stumbled across this week:

"If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive."—Audre Lorde

"Our stories are our identities."
-- Reggie McKnight from EIGHTH GRADE SUPERZERO, by Olugbemisola Rhuday-Perkovich

"We carve out boundaries in real time."
-- Kesime Bernard (from above post by Adam Mansbach)



*For the purposes of this essay I am focusing on PoC and European colonizers. I am quite aware that there are parts of Europe which were under Ottoman rule for hundreds of years, that some European nations invaded other European nations, and that many nations/peoples were conquered by those who looked just like them. Those of you with white skin who have been affected by these invasions must understand clearly what I am referring to when I write of the erasure and re-writing of history, and the need for those on the receiving end of said invasions to tell their own stories. No need to clarify. I am referring here, to a particular pattern of colonization and imperialism that affected peoples of colour, in alarming numbers, across the globe--specifically, the indiginous populations of the Americas, Africa, South Asia, Australia, New Zealand, and the Pacific Islands. And I am placing this within the context of US publishing--which is a product of the unique racial history of the United States.

Sex, "Bad Girls" and Healing

I've been taking some time out to do a bit of healing. As women, we have a lot to heal from. There is the usual, everyday sexism, then there is media travesty, and then there are facts like 1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of eighteen (often by someone they know). As women who are working class, or grew up working class, we have quite a lot to heal from. As women of colour who are, or grew up working class, what we need to heal from increases exponentially...with layer upon layer to peel back. And then we get to all the regular stuff--the stuff that *everyone* has to heal from. Things like my rabbit died when I was five, or the teacher called me stupid, or everyone laughed at me in eighth grade, or I was an uber-geek with bad acne in high school...

So, that's clearly a whole LOT of healing that needs to happen--and most of it has to get squeezed in between work and relationships and family and money and Life and, and, and.

I've been sitting on a post about race that I've just been too tired to put up. I will at some point, but for now I am quieting down and trying to get back in touch with that little voice that disappears if I don't keep listening to it.

In the meantime, Colleen has another What A Girl Wants post up at Chasing Ray. This one is about sex and the concept of the "bad girl". Here's a quote from my portion:

"What's stunningly clear as you read [Natalie Angier's WOMAN: AN INTIMATE GEOGRAPHY] is that humans have been the only species to stifle female sexuality throughout the ages--in the myriad ways we have. From confining the body by shoving it into clothing items not designed for actual, life-sized females, to shaming women for expressing natural sexual urges, to publicly humiliating women (or worse, putting them to death) for adultery while their husbands openly took lovers, we--as a human race--have suppressed female sexuality beyond recognition. And I mean that literally. Most women wouldn't recognize our own natural, unfettered sexuality if we sat on it."

 Here's a bit from Zetta's quote:

"So many girls learn early on that sex is about pleasing your partner, and the emphasis on virginity leads even young girls to engage in oral sex and other practices for which they are not ready. I think girls understand early on that sex is about power, but they don’t know how to exist as a sexual being so that they are empowered and not used, abused, or shamed."

Go read what the other women have to say on the topic, too! This week it's Sara Ryan, Beth Kephart, Laurel Snyder, Lorie Ann Grover, Zetta Elliott, and myself. It's a great read with lots of wonderful book suggestions.

Women in Publishing Event

On Tuesday, February 23, SAWLF (South Asian Women's Leadership Forum) will bring together leading women writers, journalists and industry professionals for a dynamic conversation on the Who, What, Where, Why, When and How of writing for print and publication.

6:30 PM to 9:00 PM
Tuesday, February 23, 2010

This special SAWLF event will take place at the downtown Manhattan offices of Fried, Frank, Harris, Shriver & Jacobson, LLP*

One New York Plaza, NY, NY 10004
(Broad St between Water and South Streets)
*Photo ID is required for event admittance.

Registration: On-line registration will open on Tuesday, February 2, 2010 on a first-come, first-serve basis. All participants are welcome. Limited seating available.

Special Guest Panelists
Sarita Varma, Director of Publicity, Farrar Straus and Giroux

Sarah Ellison, Journalist and Author

Richa Gulati, Freelance Writer, Dancer, and Lawyer

Literary Agent, Kirsten Neuhaus

Megan Deem, Fashion Features Editor, InStyle

The moderator is author Saira Rao

For additional event details, contact Kaumudi Goda, Esq. at kaumudigoda [at] gmail [dot] com.

South Asian Women's Leadership Forum (SAWLF) is a not-for-profit organization dedicated to the advancement of South Asian women and girls in the marketplace. www.southasianwomen.org.

Save The Dates

The organization that I mentor for, Girls Write Now, is having a series of readings* throughout the spring. You are NOT going to want to miss them, I promise. Besides the amazing teens who will be reading (including my awesome mentee who is working an a kickbutt poem right this MINUTE), check out this stunning array of guests who will join us:

Friday (each reading is on a Friday), Feb. 26th: Dolen Perkins-Valdez, author of WENCH
March 26th: Nami Mun, author of MILES FROM NOWHERE
April 23rd: Lizzie Skurnick, author of SHELF DISCOVERY
May 21st: Ru Freeman, author of A DISOBEDIENT GIRL
June 18th: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, author of THE THING AROUND YOUR NECK

All events are at The Center for Fiction, 17 East 47th Street (between Fifth and Madison), NYC, 6-8pm.

Please join us on any or all of the above dates, and help support a really special organization.

*Curated by Maud Newton

Laundry

My last post got more hits than I've ever had since I began this blog. I'm thinking that, as hard and painful as the topic of race is in this country, people really want to talk about it--or at least watch others talk about it. It's an old wound, it's a festering wound, but maybe more and more people are okay with peeking at it after so long of either denying it or pretending it didn't exist--or didn't affect them.

I had to hurry off that last post because of urgent cuddling time with my sick munchkin. But I'm kind of glad I had to hurry off. It's exhausting, all this race and representation talk. When the discourse is among like-minded folks, it can be energizing, inspiring, revitalizing. But when you're constantly having to search for the right words--the words LEAST likely to be misinterpreted, LEAST likely to be taken in offense...sometimes you just want to say, "Okay, forget it. I'm gonna go fold laundry."

But me--sometimes I can't help myself. Sometimes I see people saying the most effed up stuff and I look at who they're saying it to: often those who don't have the words to defend themselves, or those who are (in Ms. Zetta's words) "the most vulnerable members of my community." And I'm reminded of my parents--intelligent adults who were reduced to stuttering fools when they couldn't find the right English words to deal with police officers, bank officials, school principals. And I have to say something. Because I do have the words. I CAN put sentences together in ways that make sense, and because of that I have the responsibility to speak up. And while I reallyreallyreally want to use wordsmithing to tell stories, to heal and transform myself (and, if possible, others), to write new worlds into existence, I can't just walk away when I know that what takes me a few minutes to articulate might never make it out of the mouths of those who need the words most.

So, I'm striving to find a balance between my two passions: working for social change* and working on my own creative pursuits. Some days I do a great job at the balance thing and allow myself to indulge in some back-patting. Other days, I watch myself get ground up and have to scrape the remnants up off the floor, as I tsk-tsk and bombard myself with I-told-you-sos.

But always...always there is laundry. And thank goodness for that.

*Though I often wonder if, given the current state of the world, any of us really have the luxury to NOT work toward social change...

Winning One For the Team

I just had to post this, even if it meant posting twice in one day . . .

I did a review some time ago about the awesomeness of Zetta Elliott's A WISH AFTER MIDNIGHT. If you read that review, you'll know that Elliott self-published WISH after facing a zillion closed doors from agents, editors, and publishers. Well, her novel went on to sell like crazy, and generated massive buzz on the internet--all due to the relentless dedication of the author.

Now, in this post, Zetta has announced that Amazon's Encore publishing program has picked up WISH!! I couldn't be more thrilled for her. She deserves it. She took the "road less traveled" and prevailed. And, her courage and commitment is an inspiration for marginalized voices everywhere. It is a testament to the fact that we have options. That, as Ms. Elliott states in her post, there is always a "third way."

Go, Zetta!!!

Rejects

I love reading rejection letters of people whose books went on to amazing success. It's just something I take great delight in. The other night, I read one of Ursula K. Leguin's:

"Ursula K. Le Guin writes extremely well, but I'm sorry to have to say that on the basis of that one highly distinguishing quality alone I cannot make you an offer for the novel. The book is so endlessly complicated by details of reference and information, the interim legends become so much of a nuisance despite their relevance, that the very action of the story seems to be to become hopelessly bogged down and the book, eventually, unreadable. The whole is so dry and airless, so lacking in pace, that whatever drama and excitement the novel might have had is entirely dissipated by what does seem, a great deal of the time, to be extraneous material. My thanks nonetheless for having thought of us. The manuscript of The Left Hand of Darkness is returned herewith."

*Hee* There's a whole list of rejections received by now famous authors, here. I particularly love the fact that Madeleine L'engle was turned down *29* times for A WRINKLE IN TIME. Well, I don't love that she was turned down so many times--I love that she was immensely successful in spite of being turned down 29 times.

I did get one letter saying that my writing was "sub-par" (yes, that one stung), but mostly I remember getting oodles of those, "Neesha Meminger writes really well, but..." letters during my search for agents and editors. Seeing LeGuin's letter made me go digging through my own pile of "declines" during SHINE subs, and I found this one:

"As promised, I read SHINE, COCONUT MOON by Neesha Meminger at my earliest convenience. I appreciate how Samar is struggling with her identity and Indian descent--I just signed up a book about a girl struggling with similar issues in [Asian country] in [historical time frame]. But Samar's struggles don't seem to be in the service of a larger plot or narrative. The early part of the book is mostly focused on [particular characters] so there's no real sense of how this will be Samar's story. And then the grandparents seem to come out of nowhere. Throughout, I really didn't get any sense of direction..."

The letter goes on for another couple of paragraphs, but it was good to read again because it reminded me, yet again, how subjective this business is. When my (amazingly gifted and talented) editor acquired SHINE, she totally "got" it. She sent me about two pages of revision notes (this is not a lot of revising for those who aren't familiar--it is not uncommon to get 10-15 pages of single-spaced notes--which is what I was expecting), and we had only one round of revisions. None of the revision notes addressed any of the above concerns, by the way.

My story clearly didn't work for that particular editor. S/he just didn't like it. And that is absolutely okay. I wouldn't want to *have* to like something I didn't like, either. But reading these letters helps to put things into perspective as you continue submitting work and receiving feedback. This goes for anything in life, not just writing. More and more, I am convinced that believing in oneself and persistence are the two main ingredients that make up a successful [insert career choice or life passion here].

This is why it's SO important to hone that inner voice that tells you to stick to what you *know* is true. And to not make changes that don't align with your vision for your work. But to incorporate the ones that do.

It's a reminder for all of us to keep pressing on, and to believe in that little voice that just knows.

Ripples To Waves

The other night, the hubs and I watched Sin Nombre. We'd heard great things about this film and were excited to see it. We were very disappointed. The film is about two young adults trying to escape their life circumstances. One is trying to cross into the US through Mexico, the other is trying to outrun a life of gang violence. I kept hoping throughout the film for some...hope. There was certainly some redemption, but it was not nearly enough.

I kept wondering what the story would have been if the camera had been put in the hands of Mexicans, or Hondurans. Would the characters have had the same arcs? Would the ending have been the same?

I think about one of my favorite films of all time, Favela Rising, and how different that film was from this one. It dealt with some of the same issues: poverty, the slums of South America, gang violence, trying to find a way out of despair. But the crew of that film put cameras in the hands of Brazilians. The kids and young men and women of the slum told their own story through their own eyes. And the picture was SO vastly different from what was depicted in Sin Nombre. Favela Rising was a story of empowerment, hope, of love for one's own people and community, of the beauty and unbreakable spirit of a people. It was about the power of music, art, and creativity to heal, to transform, and to help people transcend their circumstances. And, even though the film was "created" by two "regular," US dudes, they gave cameras to the people who lived in the community they wanted to tell a story about. These two regular, US dudes then took the proceeds from the movie and invested ALL of the money back into the community that opened itself up to their cameras.

Granted, SN was fiction and FR non-fiction. But as crafters of story, we are the ones who edit and revise, and decide what the ultimate plot or arc will be. We are the ones who decide what the story is, whose story it is, and what the characters learn, discover, or accomplish.

Here's a quick snippet from Jeff Zimbalist, one of the directors of FR from his Director's Statement:

"It seems most people’s image of global harmony or disharmony is predominantly shaped by the media. When I find myself surrounded by stories of the world falling apart, naturally I imagine the world as a place falling apart. The more access I have to stories of communities that work, the more I imagine a world in which people are also realizing change and breaking the odds stacked against them. I am attracted to these vital and inspiring stories because it is in them that I find myself the most activated and alive."

Whenever people talk about not knowing what to do in their lives to change the way things are, I think about these kinds of simple, ordinary things people do all the time--in whatever capacity they can. Something as seemingly-minor as putting a camera in the hands of someone whose story has never been heard--you don't have to be a Spielberg or a Tarantino. Or giving voice to someone whose voice is usually not considered important/valuable/newsworthy/marketable. These small things are what it takes to make real, lasting changes. These are the things that inspire, spark a chain reaction, and create ripples that turn into large waves.